What is..

I've been thinking about "What is my life..? What is for..?" for long time.. have found.. maybe not yet.. ummm.. Before getting 30yol I've never felt fear anything of my life.. I used to enjoy manythings.. scuba diving, travel abroad, have parties, go out with friends(include colleagues), enjoy working, and so on .. interests a lot.. I was confident in my self(not so much).. But something diffrent now.. because of I changed myself? or changed the job? or getting old..?? I feel fear something... These years I feel like I'm a bird in cage.. wanna fly away but can't.. I wanna fly away.. then trying to chenge.. quit go out on weekends a while to find new and just get started study.. Change is better.. make new friends, get the general knowledge.. But I can't wipe a fear even what the reason I know.. Some photos are relief from fear..